This is a weird way to start off a blog, I'll grant myself that. I'm not giving away any sort of introduction or clue about me, but if you're reading this, you should know that I'm a ranter; and, often, it doesn't have very much value to anyone but myself.
But it is what it is. Here it goes. I need to better myself in order to better myself. What do I mean by that? I mean, I don't think I can lose weight while simultaneously being the kind of person that I've become. I can feel myself becoming selfish and bratty. I feel myself doing less things for others and doing myself. I feel myself not trusting anyone, including a person who I claim to trust to the end of the world. I feel myself pushing people away and snapping at them.
I can't remember what it was like to be a nice girl, when every word out of my mouth wasn't sarcastic. I feel like I'm happier when I'm nicer. I still do things for people and get by on that to have friends. But I'm cranky and moody and I don't think there's a single person who appreciates it.
I can feel my best friends slipping away from me because it's difficult to be around me. And I want it to stop. I am NOT this person. I have NEVER been this person and I refuse to allow myself to continue to be sour because my life isn't perfect.
So here's to improving the way I am to improve what I eat and how I work out. Maybe I'll go about my days feeling better about myself and be able to spend time not feeling so jaded. Maybe I'll be more productive. Maybe I'll laugh more, and smile more. I want to do this. This HAS to come first.
Happy Thanksgiving to anyone that might be reading! Remember to be thankful for everything that you have because that's my plan!
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